


“So, I found this waterfall…”

by soldiermom1973



Series: Tumblr prompts [1]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Drabble, F/M, Fluffy, Shenko - Freeform, Tumblr Prompt, Virmire, sfw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-16
Updated: 2016-05-20
Packaged: 2018-06-08 22:13:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6875731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soldiermom1973/pseuds/soldiermom1973
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The night before the Virmire mission and Kaidan wanders off.  Shepard goes looking for him and is pleasantly surprised by what she finds.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Replica_Jester](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Replica_Jester/gifts).



> This takes place the night before the Virmire mission, before any plans are really hatched out.
> 
> Picked up another prompt from [this post](http://wardenari.tumblr.com/post/144311042158/send-me-a-pairing-and-a-number-and-ill-write-you)
> 
>  
> 
> [Reblogs are amazing!](http://soldiermom1973.tumblr.com/post/144471731368/kaidan-and-shep-15-soi-found-this)

By the time her crew had reached the STG team, the sun had begun to set on Virmire. Captain Kirrahe refused to do any night ops and began coordinating with Commander Shepard to schedule a guard rotation. Joker and Adams worked together to make sure the Normandy's sensors had as much reach as they could manage. Everyone remained on high alert, even as the sky grew darker and the sounds of the nearby forests began to take over.

Shepard walked among her people, making sure everyone was alright and that they had a place to catch some shut-eye, since cots were at a premium. No one wanted to stay on the ship – they wanted to be nearby in case anything went down. Tali and Garrus were helping a couple of Kirrahe's engineer's with perimeter defense; Liara was coordinating with the quartermaster for last minute requisitions; Wrex and Ash were cleaning weapons; and Kaidan...

Shepard looked around quickly for the young lieutenant. She was surprised that he wasn't with any of the other crew members getting ready for the next day's attack. A quick survey of the other people on the beach told her that the last anyone had seen him, he'd been following the shoreline, rubbing the back of his neck.

“He looked like he might have had a migraine,” Liara commented. “I offered to go with him, but he said he needed to be alone.”

Shepard thanked the young asari and quickly headed down the beach, relived that there were footprints to follow and some very bright moonlight to follow them by. After a few hundred feet, the footprints wandered away from the shoreline and into the woods. The commander drew her weapon and perked her ears, listening for any indication that Kaidan was in trouble or that someone was following them.

Instead, she heard water splashing in the distance. She quickened her pace, following the sound. She remembered Kaidan telling her how, as a kid, he loved the sound rain made. The gentle patter of the waterdrops on the roof of his house was very soothing to him, especially when he had a migraine. Shepard hoped that, if he did have a headache, he might have sought some solace here.

The animals in the forest around her helped mask her approach with their chirps and squawks. As she neared the sound, she could smell the damp earth and the sound became unmistakable – there was definitely a waterfall. When she peeked through the foliage, she could see it wasn't a large fall. The water dropped maybe 20 feet, falling gently from a cliff face. It gathered into a small pond, maybe 15 feet across. As she scanned the area, looking for some sign of Kaidan, she could see a few fish jump and birds flitting along the water's edge.

Her eyes were drawn to movement just at the edge of the waterfall. Shepard moved a little closer and her breath caught in her throat. Kaidan stood under the falling water – his back was to her, his face turned skyward, his hands laced behind his neck. She chewed on her lower lip as she watched him – his muscles rippling beneath drops of water that quickly ran down his bronze skin. His jet-black hair was slicked back with no sign of that curious bump.

He lowered his hands and his head as he slowly turned around. Shepard's face grew hot as she scanned down his naked torso, taking in the perfect sculpt of his chest, the sharp lines of his abs. Warmth pooled in her belly as her eyes roamed lower, over his Adonis belt and to the thin line of dark hair that disappeared beneath the water's surface.

She knew she shouldn't be here, watching him. It was creepy and unprofessional and absolutely against regulations. She knew that if she was under that waterfall and she knew someone was watching her, she'd beat the living shit out of them. Unless it was Kaidan watching... not that the idea of that made what she was doing any more acceptable. Still, Shepard couldn't look away as Kaidan ran his fingers through his hair, then down his neck, over his chest, then up over the opposite shoulder.

She watched as he glanced at his omni-tool and began to swim for the shore. She quickly backtracked, not wanting him to know she'd been spying on him. She followed the path back out to the beach and waited for a few moments before turning around and going back after him.

“Kaidan?” she whispered loudly. “Are you back here?” Her idea was to pretend that she'd only just gotten there.

“Yes, ma'am. I'm over here.” Just then, Kaidan rounded the corner. He was already back in his armor, but his hair was still dripping wet.

“Is everything ok? Liara said she though you might have a headache.” Shepard hoped that the bright moonlight wasn't enough to show how red her cheeks were.

“Yeah, I did. Well, the start of one, anyway. I, uh, I went for a walk and I found this waterfall. It helped.”

“What, you stood under it in your gear?” Shepard smirked. There was a tremendous heat pooling in her belly as she thought about how he was totally NOT in his armor.

“Um, no. No, ma'am. I wasn't in my armor,” he replied. Shepard couldn't help but smile at the sudden shyness in his voice.

“Oh. Well, that's good. Maybe when things finish up tomorrow, you can show me where this waterfall is.”

Kaidan smiled warmly at the Commander. “Yes, ma'am. I'd love to do that.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't intend for this to happen, but it did. I needed a tissue to write it and my beta needed several as she read it. I hope you all approve.

He expected some changes, both physically and mentally. She'd been through hell, had so many people she cared about died, and a damn space station blew up and basically fell on her. He expected her to have nightmares, to put on a brave face for the public but break down when it was just the two of them. He expected the physical and mental therapy to long and arduous and he planned on being by her side every step of the way.

At first, she seemed fine. When she came out of her coma, she laughed and joked, relaying time and again how things went on the Citadel in those moments before the Crucible discharged. Now, though, it had been over a year since the Reapers were defeated and Shepard was a shell of her former self. She withdrew inside herself, barely speaking to anyone. She stopped doing public appearances and refused to even do vidcom interviews. And while she would allow Kaidan to sleep next to her, his arms wrapped tightly around her, she refused to let him touch her otherwise. Hugs were tense and she'd permit a kiss on the cheek occasionally, but nothing more than that.

Yeah, he'd expected some changes, but nothing this drastic and nothing this sudden. Kaidan cursed the day he'd let her look in that damn mirror. She'd asked for it because, even though people were careful to mask their reaction to her appearance, she knew that something wasn't right.

She'd been burned terribly when the Citadel started to explode and the doctors had done what they could. Her implants had been damaged, though, and because she'd been under the rubble for hours, infection had started to set in. There was nothing more anyone could do – the left side of Shepard's face was going to be horribly scarred. She'd also lost sight in that eye, but the doctors assured both her and Kaidan that a prosthetic insertion was possible and recommended.

Immediately after she'd seen her reflection in the tiny mirror, Shepard excused herself to use the bathroom. Her legs had been crushed and even with surgery and intensive therapy, she couldn't walk unassisted. Kaidan tried to help her move but she shrugged him off. He pressed his lips together as the door clicked shut, knowing that she was looking at herself in the mirror, studying all the scars the explosion and subsequent surgeries had left behind. His heart broke when he heard her sob and he placed a hand on the door.

“Shepard?” he called quietly. “Are you alright?” He carefully opened the door as the woman he loved quickly covered herself.

“Yeah,” she nodded, hobbling past him back to her bed. She didn't say another word the rest of the night. That was when she started to withdraw, shutting out her friends and everyone around her. It was all Kaidan could do to keep her from shutting him out, too.

Kaidan found them a place on earth – a house close enough to civilization for things to be convenient but rural enough to afford them (her) some much needed privacy. He made arrangements with the Alliance to be able to work from home so he could focus on Shepard's care. The Council agreed to relieve him of his Spectre duties (but not his status) for the same reason. Physical therapists and psychiatrists came to their home for Shepard's appointments. Kaidan cooked her favorite foods and made sure her favorite flowers decorated the halls. Candles were constantly burning, filling the house with her favorite scents. Kaidan did everything he could to try and make Shepard comfortable and help break her out of her shell.

Instead, she only retreated further inward. She went through the motions for her physical therapy but would only do the daily exercises if Kaidan prompted her. Her psychiatric appointments were simply an hour or 2 of Shepard staring at her lap, her fingers intertwined as the doctor waited for her to open up. Meds were prescribed but she would only take them if Kaidan begged her to. Friends would stop by and awkward silences would ensue; conversations were one-sided with Shepard barely acknowledging that anyone was even speaking to her. It was as though she'd given up. Her drive, her motivation, the passion she had for her job and her ideals and her friends was simply not there.

What broke his heart the most, though, were the times when Shepard would quietly tell him that if he wanted to leave it was ok. That he had a career to think about. That he deserved someone whole and beautiful and not as broken as she was; that he didn't deserve to waste his time caring for someone like her. He would always respond with a crushing hug, kissing the tears away from her cheeks, and reminding her that when he told her he had her back, he meant it. He wasn't going anywhere. Shepard would simply nod and turn away from him, as if she didn't believe what he was saying.

One night, after a particularly bad nightmare had her screaming bloody murder, Kaidan stood at the window, trying to think of something different to try. Something that might ignite that spark inside her that made him fall in love with her in the first place. As he looked out into the darkness the sky lit up with an unexpected flash of lightning. The rain started falling in sheets over the window and he got an idea.

The next morning, Shepard watched silently as he packed an overnight bag for each of them. Shorts, t-shirts, towels, bathing suits....

“I won't wear that,” she said quietly.

Kaidan paused, glancing at her. “How about if we take it anyway? Maybe you'll change your mind.”

Shepard just shook her head and wheeled herself out of the bedroom – good days she used crutches and the leg braces. Bad days were the wheelchair. She'd been having a lot of bad days recently.

Once the bags were packed and loaded in the skycar, Kaidan scooped Shepard out of her chair and gently placed her in the passenger seat. Once he got himself situated and pulled away, Shepard asked about her chair. “Why didn't you pack it?”

“Because you won't be able to use it where I'm taking you,” he said. He braced himself for an argument, but Shepard merely turned her attention to the window.

They were on the road for several hours before reaching the campsight. Kaidan had found it while figuring out how to implement the idea he'd gotten the night before. He called the place, explained who he was and what he needed. The staff had been very accommodating – when he parked, he noticed that a tent had already been pitched, a fire was going, and it seemed as though they had the area pretty much to themselves. He unpacked their bags and handed Shepard her crutches.

“I have a surprise for you, but it requires you to put on the bathing suit.” He held up his hands as she started to protest. “You don't have to wear just that, but you will be getting wet and I figured you'd rather be in that than your bra and underwear.”

The look on Shepard's face didn't change and she made no move to reach for her crutches. “Don't make me give you the pout,” Kaidan threatened.

He smiled when the look on her face softened a bit. There was a smile hiding, but it didn't quite make it to the surface. “Please,” he murmured, turning on the puppy dog eyes. He rarely gave her that look – he didn't want her to resent him maybe making her feel guilty to get her to do something. He wasn't holding back tonight, though.

Kaidan beamed when the corners of her mouth twitched upward just a tiny bit/ _Baby steps_ he reminded himself as she stood and hobbled into the tent to change.

As they carefully made their way through the woods, Shepard's ears perked at a distant rumble. “What's that noise?” she asked.

“Well, I found a waterfall,” he said. “And if I remember correctly, I owe you a waterfall.”

He looked over his shoulder when he heard Shepard stop moving. She was frowning, one eyebrow raised, and her head was cocked just enough to let him know that she didn't have a clue what he was talking about.

“Remember the waterfall on Virmire?” he asked her quietly. Realization crossed her face and he continued. “You asked me to show it to you and I never got the chance. So I found another one instead.”

He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear as she pressed her lips together and quickly blinked a few times. “Come on,” he said. “It's just up ahead.”

A few minutes later, the pair stepped into a small clearing. The waterfall was higher – nearly 100 feet, according to what Kaidan found on the extranet – and the pond was bigger, but shallower. Kaidan pulled his shirt off and turned to face Shepard, wearing only his swimming trunks. He held out his hand and said, “This is why I packed your suit.”

When she hesitated, Kaidan added, “It's dark. No one else is around to see you, Shep. Even I can barely see you.”

She hung her head as she pulled her shirt over her head. The bathing suit was a one-piece, but she left the shorts on anyway. Kaidan smiled as she slid her hand into his, his other arm out to steady her as she carefully hobbled toward him. He gently picked her up and waded further out into the pond.

When he tried to set her down, she curled tighter against him, a sob tearing from her throat. The water was shallow enough to allow him to sit, cradling her against his chest. He gently stroked her hair, nuzzling his cheek on the top of her head as he let her cry. As her body shook and his chest grew wet from her tears, he realized that this was the first time since she woke from her coma that she cried.

Kaidan had no idea how long they sat together in the water but he let her cry and scream and rail at the fates that had been so unfair to the people she'd lost. She wondered why she'd been allowed to live when so many other good people – far more deserving than she, she thought – had been allowed to die. Kaidan didn't say a word, he just kept stroking her hair, running his fingers along her back, kissing the top of her head, letting her know that he was there for her.

Finally, her cries became sniffles and she dared a look up at him. “Why?” she asked quietly.

“Why what?”

“Why did you stay with me? Kaidan, have you seen how I look? My legs don't work right. I'm damn near useless.”

Kaidan sighed, wondering when this conversation was going to happen. “Yes, Shepard. I have seen how you look. Have you seen the way I look at you?”

Shepard just shook her head and lowered her gaze. Kaidan crooked a finger under her chin and made her look back up at him. “I didn't fall in love with you because of the way you look, Commander,” he chided her. “I fell in love with your attitude. Your spunk. The way you take care of the people around you. The way you stand up for your beliefs and the way you do the right thing.” He gently ran a finger along her face, tracing along the bumpy scars. “You had to make some really tough calls. You followed your heart and your gut and you made no apologies for the things you had to do. I don't care what you look like now. I care that you think I'm going to leave you because of the way you look now. I care that the things you've gone through have changed you so much...” His voice cracked and he closed his eyes for a moment. “I miss you,” he simply said.

“I miss you, too,” came the whispered response. “I don't like feeling like this, Kaidan. I know it isn't normal for me and I hate it.”

“Then let the doctors do their job,” he pleaded. “Take your meds. Do your exercises. And know that I will always be there for you.”

She nodded against his chest. “You aren't useless, either,” Kaidan said. “No, you won't be chasing batarian slavers or shutting down merc groups any time soon, but you can still teach. You can still command the Normandy. You can still tell your story. You're an inspiration, Shepard, whether you realize it or not. People out there idolize you.”

Shepard just sighed. Neither of them spoke for a few minutes and Kaidan was beginning to wonder if maybe Shepard had nodded off when she finally spoke again. “I have a confession to make,” she said quietly.

“What's that?”

“That night on Virmire, at the waterfall?” She looked up at him with a small smile on her face. “I was totally watching you while you stood under the water.”

“Hm,” he hummed against her head. “I have a confession to make, too.”

“What's that?” she asked.

“I knew you were there.”

A smile stretched across her face. “Really?” she asked.

“Really,” he said. He leaned over and brushed his lips against hers, thrilled that she didn't pull away. They had a long road ahead of them, but it seemed like things were finally starting to get better.


End file.
